An Appology

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I think I need to come right out and say what's going down.

This blog is a failure.

Not a failure as in a fizzling out sort of one, where I'm just too lazy to keep it up, and it gets swept under the rug as just one of those things that you couldn't keep up with, kinds of things. But it's more of a failure as in the very nature of the idea just doesn't work.
There are two problems with the concept of this blog and I'll tell you what they are.
1.) Music requires time and thought. I didn't know that until this blog, where I was rushed to make four songs in approximately thirty days. I realized that this made me spurt out anything I had, regardless of if I liked it or not. And after about three months I felt completely empty. At least all of the easy stuff was gone. Now I had to actually think about music, and this was hard. And it took time. And I didn't have time. At first I thought deadlines would do me good, it would get me going and actually accomplish something. And, well, it did do that, but at the same time I had no room to breathe. No room for creativity, in a way. I found myself breaking down at the keyboard in a panic because I had no ideas. Writer's block, in a way. And i had to have a nice and fresh song by the end of that night. It was destroying me more than helping me.
2.) Music, like I said in a previous blog, requires solitude. This blog made everything public. I had to please people. I had to write songs or do songs that I wanted people to like, and I forgot about if I liked the song or not. I was exposing myself, giving my music too much sunlight, in a way, and it was dying.  I felt like I was losing my identity in a way, when I made everything public. Nothing I did was for me. It was for other people.

I found myself unable to write. Too many factors were weighing down on me as I wrote for this blog, and it wasn't doing me any good. I think the most good it did do me was make me come to this realization:

 Music needs a lot of time and a lot of thought and it needs to be a personal thing first.
If music is written in ten minutes and is publicized before it is personalized, you end up with songs like Firework by Katie Perry. Tell me, Do YOU ever feel like a plastic bag floating in the wind? How lyrically creative is THAT!?

Anyway, no, I don't want this to be about bashing top forty superstars, regardless of how enjoyable that is (They think they're aaaaalll that, but they're not! Yeah...)

This blog taught me something that I would never have learned otherwise. So, no, this blog wasn't a futile effort. I'm coming out of it with a deeper knowledge than what I had before. A little wiser, I guess you'd say.

So yeah. This blog was a bad idea that taught me something timeless.
And yeah, I'm not going to be able to keep up with it for the rest of this year. You probably knew that the first day you saw this blog. You were right. But I have my own reasons, and I think they are valid.
But don't worry. I'm still going to keep this blog up and running. I'll still be doing covers and making music of my own (I can't really do anything else). But it just won't be as rushed. Inspiration will come on its own time. And on the days where I can't do anything, I'll keep silent. That's just the way I work, I guess.

I hope I didn't disappoint you. I'll still be around. I kind of like it here.
Thanks for reading
Isaac