An Appology

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I think I need to come right out and say what's going down.

This blog is a failure.

Not a failure as in a fizzling out sort of one, where I'm just too lazy to keep it up, and it gets swept under the rug as just one of those things that you couldn't keep up with, kinds of things. But it's more of a failure as in the very nature of the idea just doesn't work.
There are two problems with the concept of this blog and I'll tell you what they are.
1.) Music requires time and thought. I didn't know that until this blog, where I was rushed to make four songs in approximately thirty days. I realized that this made me spurt out anything I had, regardless of if I liked it or not. And after about three months I felt completely empty. At least all of the easy stuff was gone. Now I had to actually think about music, and this was hard. And it took time. And I didn't have time. At first I thought deadlines would do me good, it would get me going and actually accomplish something. And, well, it did do that, but at the same time I had no room to breathe. No room for creativity, in a way. I found myself breaking down at the keyboard in a panic because I had no ideas. Writer's block, in a way. And i had to have a nice and fresh song by the end of that night. It was destroying me more than helping me.
2.) Music, like I said in a previous blog, requires solitude. This blog made everything public. I had to please people. I had to write songs or do songs that I wanted people to like, and I forgot about if I liked the song or not. I was exposing myself, giving my music too much sunlight, in a way, and it was dying.  I felt like I was losing my identity in a way, when I made everything public. Nothing I did was for me. It was for other people.

I found myself unable to write. Too many factors were weighing down on me as I wrote for this blog, and it wasn't doing me any good. I think the most good it did do me was make me come to this realization:

 Music needs a lot of time and a lot of thought and it needs to be a personal thing first.
If music is written in ten minutes and is publicized before it is personalized, you end up with songs like Firework by Katie Perry. Tell me, Do YOU ever feel like a plastic bag floating in the wind? How lyrically creative is THAT!?

Anyway, no, I don't want this to be about bashing top forty superstars, regardless of how enjoyable that is (They think they're aaaaalll that, but they're not! Yeah...)

This blog taught me something that I would never have learned otherwise. So, no, this blog wasn't a futile effort. I'm coming out of it with a deeper knowledge than what I had before. A little wiser, I guess you'd say.

So yeah. This blog was a bad idea that taught me something timeless.
And yeah, I'm not going to be able to keep up with it for the rest of this year. You probably knew that the first day you saw this blog. You were right. But I have my own reasons, and I think they are valid.
But don't worry. I'm still going to keep this blog up and running. I'll still be doing covers and making music of my own (I can't really do anything else). But it just won't be as rushed. Inspiration will come on its own time. And on the days where I can't do anything, I'll keep silent. That's just the way I work, I guess.

I hope I didn't disappoint you. I'll still be around. I kind of like it here.
Thanks for reading
Isaac

Music isn't a vehicle.

The happy grass and flowers and blue skies was really starting to bug me. As a result my blog became much more simple. I'm starting to like simple.

So on March the first I realized it was indeed March the first and not actually the 29th of February. So I've already sort of broken this whole pact of having four music blogs every month. It's the fifth of March and I still haven't put the last post up for February. I could now throw out a massive amount of excuses, but even though they are pretty valid excuses, I will refrain (I've been told I make too many excuses when I do something wrong. It's something I'm trying to work on).

Jeremy Larson just did an interview a couple of weeks ago that I think needs repeating. His philosophy on music is so pure and just... correct.



"When young kids think about making music, they may be in band or orchestra, but if they’re anything like me, they’re dreaming about being on stage, and playing in a band, or being a rapper. They’re thinking of it in terms of what it could lead to, and the money it could make, or the fame, I guess, and they lose focus of music for the sake of what it is, and how it makes you feel. It’s a struggle that I have. "Where is music taking me, because I want it to take me somewhere’. I think it’s an unhealthy perspective, and it’s a very unfortunate one; to think of music mainly as a vehicle to get you to another place.

I had a bass teacher who I took lessons from for a while. He was in his late 70′s. He was a great jazz musician. He used to tell me these stories about how he lived with six other guys growing up. They just loved to play together. No audience. No recording. Nothing to show anyone, they just lived in a house together. One of them would wake up every day and walk to the drum kit and start playing a little bit. The other guys would hear it in the house, and they’d wake up and play together. They’d do this for six hours, and take a break for lunch, and they’d get back into it. They’d keep playing. No audience, no reason to play, except for the fact that they loved playing music and they wanted to make music happen, and they wanted to create it, and for it to fill the space where they were sitting. I try to remind myself of that......

To be honest, music doesn’t pay. It’s in a different place now, and there are so many bands out there that it’s very expendable. Every band out there, even the biggest, most famous ones, they are replaceable. You know, you have Coldplay or Beyonce, who are at the top of their game, at the top of their careers, but, if they disappear, and their music doesn’t exist anymore, there are a thousand behind them, ready to take that spot. Especially on the lower level of being an independent artist, there’s no shortage of bands out there, no shortage of things for people to buy. Most bands are giving away their music for free anyway, just to get a little bit more exposure.  So music as a career and a hobby is not going to be what kids think it’s going to be. They would probably be severely disappointed. But, you can look at music as something that is meaningful. It’s worth something. Not a dollar amount, because it means something in your life, because you’re able to create. Then, I think that life can have a little bit more magic to it, if I can use that word."

 Music isn't a vehicle to get you places. Our music culture has missed that entirely, and so have I. I know I needed to hear this. 

Anyway, so it's like the fifth and I haven't even posted anything for the end of February. At this point I'm not really sure how I feel about this four-songs-a-month blog thing. I'm starting to learn that music takes thought. Lots of though. To say that I'm going to write a song in a week and make it acceptable is starting to sound more and more preposterous. I'm not sure how I'll solve this. I might make this blog a bit more broad. I won't give up on it, but... well... oh, I don't know what to do.

I'm going to Springfield on the twelfth to see Jeremy Larson's opening concert (He's the guy that I just quoted above). This man has taught me so much about music and how it should be approached. He's an absolute genius. Don't believe me? Come to the concert with me.

There's a Midi controller at Musician's Pro for fifty bucks that I'll probably buy so that I won't have to go to Western Kentucky's campus to play piano. I'll have one all to myself. That'll be nice.

Piano Song No. 2 in E Minor (#7)

I'll post the sheet music for this one later.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. It's rather repetitive and not varied at all.
I'll write more later. I must go.
Isaac
-----------------------------

So all this is is really just experimentation. I really want to get better as a pianist, and there's really nowhere to go but up, so I'm just trying my hands at it I suppose.
Did you like that lame cut I did in the middle of the video? I seriously cannot get that transition. It's too much for my brain. I'll get it though. I swears!

Anyway, as sad as it sounds, I'm still having a hard time with letting go of trying to get people to like me because I'm a musician. I think the exploitation of art might be my biggest sin. I want to be in art for myself and to fulfill my ends, and I get so caught up in wanting people to see me as a musician, and it's not really about the art anymore. It's a big struggle for me. I'm not sure if being aware of it makes it better or worse.
 I'm starting to come to terms with it a little more, though, simply because I'm starting to see all my shortcomings as a musician. If I follow this path for too long, the path of showing myself off, I'd end up having to compare myself with other musicians. That would be fatal. Every other musician I know and listen to are above me. Way far above me. If I were to start taking pride in my strides in music, my self worth would start to be determined by how good I am. Then, if I were to find an artist better than me (I can already name at least 100), my identity would be crushed. I would be crushed. Destroyed.

Anyway, I just thought I'd get this out there. I know this piano piece is nothing compared to everything else you've ever heard in your life. It's not really about that for me, I guess. It's mine, and I wrote it out all on staff. That was the real project behind all of this. I'll post pictures of the staff once I'm done with it. It has lots of flaws.... Anyway.
Thanks for reading
Isaac

Making Progress

So I've officially started writing songs for the up and coming EP I'm hoping to record in June with the illustrious Evan Van Kirk. We've settled dates kinda-sorta, but things are still a bit up in the air. Hopefully the chips will fall nicely and I shall be on my way up to Oregon this summer.

I know it seems rather late to just start writing for an album that's supposed to be recorded in just four months, but... honestly, it's scary. I used to write lyrics (lyrics that I'm not very happy with) just for the purpose of recording it in my bedroom,  not really caring what they sound like or what they really mean. Whatever popped into my head at the time was whatever I wrote down onto some scratch of paper and they suddenly became song lyrics. And as far as music went, I was happy with four chord progressions with two verses and two choruses and maybe a bridge here and there. I wasn't too worried about complexity and I didn't put the time necessary into music.

Now, well, things are different. I find myself staring blankly at the keys and at the notebook, writing things down then crossing them off. Playing something, then stopping and doing it again. I'm just too afraid that I'll play the notes the wrong way or write something down that's too obvious or too vague or too overdone. I'm just scared. I'll be recording something that's supposedly going to be up on the market for strangers to critique, so I want to make something that is worth people's time to listen to. Ideally, this will be something that I won't just share with my friends, but with the world, with music bloggers and critics. Strangers. I don't want to be caught off guard with crappy, poorly-put-together songs with overdone chord progressions and lyrics going along the lines of "I love you," and try to tell the world at large that I'm good enough to be on iTunes. I want to be worth it. I want a stranger to actually BUY my EP. Maybe he would find one of the songs on Youtube or Myspace and say, "This is just what I was looking for" and go on iTunes and put 6 bucks into something that I  made (Me!). I know this is audacious and rather silly to think about. But it's what I want.


I want these songs to be mine, about my experiences and my life. After all, the one thing I've learned through all my years in English class is to Write What You Know. I don't know that much, but I know a lot about where I've been.
Anyway, it's just scary to write nowadays. And when you have conflicting music tastes like mine (think DJ Tiesto, Jonsi, Jon Foreman, and Yann Tiersenn all mixed together), it becomes even more difficult to write, because you don't know how you want things to sound. Evan tells me to not worry about style, because style will be an outcome of whatever sounds you make. I think he's right. It's just hard to put that into practice.

Anyway, so now I decided to get over this fear of not saying things right or playing things right, and I've just started playing. So far, what's come out is... well... really... good. Not to brag, but I'm just ecstatic about these songs.

I feel that this is God's curse on me, but whatever I write turns out to be religious. Perhaps it's because religion is the thing my mind is obsessed with (Not my choice). I've never been in love (Close, but no cigar!), so it's hard to write about that. I want to start writing more optimistic songs-- even if it's just senseless feel-good jive, I think it would be worth it. Everything I write is doleful and monotonous and about my failure as a human being.
The sun shined yesterday.
Those kinds of things need to be put into song (Even if every other artist does the same thing).
So yeah...
I still haven't pieced things together yet as far as the structure of the album (let alone the structure of the songs), but there will be lots of instrumentals. Oh! And this album is becoming more and more piano-based. This is odd, because guitar is my first instrument. But these past two semesters, my piano knowledge has exploded into something much better.
I also want there to be some sort of correlation with the songs. It'd be amazing to make an album with a recurring message. Something that's not cheesy. But just a meaning.

I was hoping that I could've posted pictures of the two pages of staff that I wrote for a piano piece, but, Lo and Behold (Whatever that means), the binder they were in was left in the English Department. Agh!
So I still owe you two more blogs for this month.
Much excitement and all that,
Isaac.

Editors- Weight of the World (Cover) (#6)

At the moment I'm surrounded by toilet paper (I never got the point of tissue paper) with a runny nose, congested throat, and chills running up and down my spine. I'm in my blue argyle robe and blue jeans, listening to Jeremy Larson. The sun's setting already and I've done absolutely nothing except work from 9 to 1. Oh, well, not really nothing. I finished this video song, so that's something I guess.
As of now, this is my least favorite of my video songs. I'm not sure why. It might be the video footage. I just didn't really care about how I looked when I was filming, and you can kind of tell. Haha. Now I kind of regret that.
 I just feel like the whole song was sloppily put together. And I was recording vocals three days ago when this cold thing started coming strong. I refused to let it get the best of me and tried to record what I could. As you can tell, my voice sounds really strained and rusty. Now I can't even sing :/

The two things I like about this song is the violin and the beat. I don't claim to be a violin player. I can't even do a proper tremolo. And most of the time I play either too sharp or too flat (It's so hard to play an instrument without frets!) But with the help of reverb and multiple tries, I think I finally got it to be at least a bit acceptable.
And the beat was kind of fun. I'm going to start experimenting with beat more, I think.
So I don't have that same ecstatic feeling that I had upon finishing I Am Strong last week. Maybe in a couple day's time I can look back on this song and see it for what it's worth. It might be a lot better or a lot worse. We'll see.

I started writing on staff for piano now. I think for my next post I'll photo copy them and distribute to anybody who wants to try to play it. The first person to learn it and post a video on my wall gets a prize! Sure.... let's try something like that.
Thanks for reading
Isaac

I Am Strong (Song #5)

My gosh. It feels good to finish things, even the things that I generally like to do. The moment I post that video onto this blog and push the big, orange Publish button, I feel just...accomplished. free. and, if I like what I made, slightly and wrongfully proud. It's a good feeling. 
Anyway, oh me.... this song.
I think so far this was the funnest I've had by far making music. I'm not exactly sure why. This one took the longest, and it consisted of the most breaking points where I just wanted to throw away the whole thing. But the expression that I got across! The joy! The bounce. The movement. The happiness. I feel like I really pinpointed exactly what I wanted to express and I freakin did it. Granted, i did have an original song to model this one after. But still, I feel like I did the mood of the song justice. Maybe I'm just biased. I'll have to listen to it again when I'm in a bad mood and see if it turns that frown upside down! 
yeah....


The Music
I'm pretty sure you could deduce that this isn't my default style. I'm seen as much more of a soulful acoustic kind of a guy by most people. But I think I've always had a secret appreciation for the pulsing bass beats and slurry trance sounds of techno music. 
Let me say straight up that I honestly don't think one music is better than the other. Acoustic folk and Techno both bring their sets of cards to the table, both having uniqueness in them. 
I used to think that techno music wasn't real music. That it was a cop out for people who can't play real instruments.
Now I just don't think that's true. The Midi controller (A rendition of a key board that will play a variety of different sounds that techno artists use)  is in itself a real instrument and I think it takes a lot of skill to be able to play it well.
At the same time, I will always come back to the natural sounds of our world with a reverence. There is something about the hearing of a plucked instrument in real life that just cannot be replaced. There's sincerity in it. There's soul.
So I honestly just can't take sides.

And when it comes to making this kind of music, I'm very very very limited. The program I used was just Garageband (I bent most of the default sounds into something different. And the software in Garageband is very very very limited when it comes to editing sounds). Again, I recorded both the guitar and vocals with my mic on my laptop computer.

I had originally started recording this song at 120 bpms (Beats Per Minute) but felt that it was too slow and bumped it up to 130.
I'm not sure why I just told you that.

The Theme
I'm an avid advocate for free-interpretational rights for the listener when it comes to music. Meaning, I think that there are different, valid ways that people can interpret a piece of art, based on their uniqueness and personal experience. As long as the interpreter isn't being difficult and lame, saying that a song is about yellow dump trucks when it's really about social injustices in the world, I think art really is, to a certain extent, meant to be interpreted. I'm using waaaay too complex of sentence structures. I don't even understand myself.

So in that light, to me, the song I Am Strong is about all of the things in your life that make you you. The things that get you along from day to day. Not exactly the things that you live for, but the things that help you live.
So that's what all the random video footage was throughout my video. It all represented something in my life that helps me live, what gives me zest for life. Everything that keeps me going.

First you saw my dog Jack. He reminds me about joy. He teaches me a little bit about what love is-- the way he is always ecstatic to see me, even when I've ignored him for days at a time. He is one of the most forgiving living things I know.

I'm not exactly sure what the creepy shot was when I was looking through my window into the neighbor's yard. I just needed a filler.

The blue dinosaur represented my childhood. It was worth the wear. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My Journal. I just really like to express myself, either through the written or spoken word or through music or, on rare occasions, bad dancing. I feel like expression is essential to me. It makes me feel whole.

The ukelele belonged to my grandfather. I think what it means to me is just family. All of my family. I know I sound like most every other being on the face of this earth. But if it wasn't for my family, I would be lost. It also is the instrument for peace, as the Hawaiians say, I think. Peace is something I strive to learn more of. I don't know it too well, but I want to.

My worn out converse. Haha! They don't mean anything too deep. I guess I just like to go places, and these shoes are proof of that.

The cd Takk by Sigur Ros. I chose this one just because it's one of my favorites. It's sad, but music gives meaning to my life I can't find anywhere else. If I had no music in my ears or in my head or on my fingers, if I was deprived of such joys, I would be cursed. I know Christians aren't supposed to say those kinds of things, but it's true. I need music, even though it really doesn't need me.
Also, music is my connection with my closer friends. If it wasn't for music, I wouldn't have some of the friends that I have now. And that would make me sad and a bit broken.

The banana peel. haha....

The bible. I think it's odd that I put this in here. I suppose, no matter how many grievances I have against this present day religion and our conceptions of God and our disguised legalistic standards, it really is, without my permission sometimes, a huge part of me. That's not always true. A lot of times I actually like Christianity. But regardless of my likes and dislikes, it will always remain to be a big influence upon me.

Where the Wild Things Are: I'm a wild thing!!!!! RAWR!!!

And finally, the Little Prince. This book, along with giving me a lasting appreciation for literature in general, is my constant reminder of the importance of the childlike mind. May I always have curiosity for life. May I be tamed. May I find a rose unique to me.

And as a side note, I put the clip of me in the back seat of my parent's Ford Taurus in as well. It kind of goes along the same lines as my converse. I just really like going places. This was taken a year ago when we were driving up to Pennsylvania. My hair was oh very unstylishly short back then.

These are all of the things that help me live life. They are the things that make me strong.

Oh! And if you want to hear the original song,

Anyway, I believe I rambled for long enough now.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I have.
Thanks for reading
Isaac

Music is seclusion

So I didn't post a video last week.
And this is the precise reason why i said I wouldn't do a one-song-a-week video thing, because I knew things just wouldn't work. I'm much more of a four songs a month kind of a man.
Anyway, all this to say, I'll be adding a beast of a song tomorrow that you can dance to. I'm actually reeeeeeaaally excited about this one. It's the first song that I've made that's actually fully happy. No emotional sad faces or religious theology. Just bounce and smiles. That's what this one consists of. I wish I wrote it. Gosh.... there are so many songs I wish I wrote...
Anyway, I decided to blog tonight anyway just because I felt like it. There were some pretty deep musical thoughts going around in my head a couple hours ago, then my mom wanted to teach me how to file my tax report or something like that. And then I got all taxed out and can't remember exactly what I was thinking. Thanks, mom.

In an interview or a video blog or something, Imogen Heap said that music is a very reclusive art. You spend hours fiddling around with sounds, making them, bending them, editing them, dancing to them. And it's all alone in a dark room. Your only company is the music that you create. This isn't bad, because this is simply the way music comes about. It's a thing created personally, not publicly. I'm not expressing this well.... let me see.
In my opinion, I feel that music must be created at a really private level, either by yourself or with friends that you trust. I don't think the creation of music should be a social thing. I've heard about big artists who have parties while they record parts of their albums. I feel like that's fake. Music looses something, I think, when you make music socially.
And because of that, musicians (If I dare call myself one) are recluses. It's not their fault. I'd wager that most musicians like people in general. But music is an art demanding seclusion.
I've probably spent about five hours working on this song that i'll put up tomorrow. Five hours. No facebook. No homework. No friends. No phone calls. Just art.
I would say that it isn't worth it, to make music, when it demands so much of me. But at the same time, I feel like it's a valid way to spend your time. For one, though you do not connect with people while you're making a song, I feel like you can connect with people anywhere when they hear the song that you created. The listener might not like what they hear, and that might be your fault or theirs, just as people might not like you at a party, when it could be your fault or theirs. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the transferring of music can be a means for social connection, but the creation of music must not be.

Really, I'm just rambling about something I dont know much about.

I also feel that for this reason of music being such a secluded art, and my longing to see the world and know about it, I've been thinking about changing my college major to something completely random like marine conservation biology or zoology or ecology. Something to get me out to smell the sea and the green grass and animal poo. Perhaps having a major that gets me out doing things will compensate for the seclusion that is making music.

And speaking of Imogen Heap, did you know that she composed and performed a whole orchestral piece? you should go research it. She's so pretty...

Thanks for reading!
Music coming tomorrow!
Isaac